Saturday 28 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 20: Raw Deal

Man I am so sorry you guys! I don't know what happened with the time! Promise it won't happen again! Unless I'm away or something.

Before I even read this chapter I was worried - if you remember Alex was left hanging over the crocodiles with absolutely no hope of survival. I looked at the title of this chapter, saw the word "Raw" and was very, very worried. I knew he couldn't die - unless the next book is just a really long funeral - but I still couldn't see how he'd escape unless MI6 miraculously found him.

Well. Myra Bennett is taunting him, waiting for him to drop when suddenly she stops. She opens her mouth to letblodd gush out of it, pitches forward and falls into the crocodiles. Have to confess I didn't see that one coming.

But it's not MI6 behind her. It's a man Alex recognises from a while back: it's none other than the man who rescued him, Sabina and her father after they fell in the loch. Wow. He's like some kind of guardian angel! He's close enough so that Alex can let go with one hand and grab this man's.

I felt so bad for Alex at this point, he hardly has any strength left and they have to get away from this place in case McCain comes back for Alex and finds his fiance dead... wouldn't want to be around for that.

The man introduces himself as Rahim, part of India's Secret Service, and he's been snet to kill McCain. I've noticed throughout these books that Alex has a great aversion to killing people himself, but he is constantly mixing with those who are cool with it. Yassen Gregorovitch, although originally Alex's enemy, became kind of close to Alex, and he's worked with various people in Scorpia, with MI6/SAS and the CIA who kill all the time. What kind of place is that for a 14 year old? Alan Blunt must have been seriously twisted to consider getting Alex to come and work for them.

McCain isn't a nice man. At all. And the world might be a better place without him. But I don't personally think he should be killed, and I'm not sure Alex does either. Whatever happens to McCain is not going to stop the plague that's steadily transforming the wheat into lethal poison, and Alex points this out to Rahim. There's relatively little they can do though, as all Rahim has is a bomb which he intends to use to blow up McCain's plane when he leaves.

On Alex's flight with Bennett he noticed there was a huge dam and suggests they blow that up to flood the fields and therefore drown the poisonous spores, and Rahim says there's little they can do, unless they can blow up one of the pipes. All they have is one small bomb and Alex's pen explosive which Smithers gave him for his 'school trip' to Greenfields. However, Rahim is not well, he has some kind of fever and passes out, leaving Alex to work out what to do. Luckily he's able to contact MI6 but doesn't know when or if they'll get the message, and after that it's up to him to save the world. Again.

Surely this must work. Alex has never failed at a mission before, and I don't want him to, but it would be interesting if he did. I don't want loads of peopleto die but luckily this is only fiction, and it would be very interesting to see how Alex responded to it. He would have done all he could, but I bet he'd be horrified and disgusted with himself for not doing more. He's like Harry, he has this 'hero complex' thing: he has to save the day no matter what it costs him, and if something goes wrong he shoulders the blame entirely. I don't want him to have to deal with that sort of grief and disgust but hey, it would be very good character development. And maybe MI6 would stop using him.

Sunday 22 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 18: Pure Torture

Just reading this chapter name was horrible. I was full of anticipation for this chapter - I didn't know what would possibly happen and even though what happened wasn't a 'traditional' type of torture, it was still horrible and nightmarish and almost unimaginable.

McCain said he would torture Alex because he didn't believe that Alex would tell him the truth about MI6 if he didn't. That's the worst part, because we know that Alex would have told him. Alex doesn't have much sympathy for MI6 anymore, and he knows that they know nothing so telling McCain wouldn't be detrimental to them anyway. But still McCain, sadistic as he is, thinks it will be fun to punish Alex again for something that shouldn't have anything to do with him.

Alex is got up in the morning after a night of no sleep. Can you imagine spending a night knowing that the next day you'll be tortured horrifically and there's nothing you can do about it? I remember reading about Torture chambers in castles and stuff, and I remember thinking that I would always tell them whatever they wanted to know before they did anything horrible to me if I was unofrtunate enough to be in that situation. Hey, I'm not that brave. I certainly wouldn't be in Gryffindor. But the point is, Alex doesn't even have a chance to prevent this torture, and the fact that he doesn't really know what MI6 have done about McCain doesn't help: he can't give much information.

When Alex asked "what's for breakfast" and was told that he was going to be, I was naturally very worried. That's not really something you want to hear when you're walking to your own torture is it? He's led by Bennett to the shore of the river and sees a tall ladder leading up to a pole that is hanging high above the edge of the water. He quickly works out that he's going to have to hang off the pole, like on monkey bars in play parks - but a lot more dangerous. Because there are Crocodiles in that river. Flipping crocodiles.

And now I understand the title. Alex notes that supposedly crocodiles weep when they kill their prey.

This cannot be good.

Two enormous crocodiles emerge and swim towards Alex, who is forced to climb the ladder. McCain and Bennett mount a viewing platform, about a meter away from this pole: they're going to watch as he slowly lets go and drops to his doom. When he gets to the top, Alex realises that he's highg enough that if he falls he'll break a leg, preventing him from running away as the crocodiles tear him apart and fight for the pieces.

This is certainly a very imaginative torture. And it's so horrible because McCain isn't actually doing anything to Alex: if Alex lets go it will be his own doing, his arms giving in to the weight of his body and letting him fall to his death.

McCain, tantalisingly slowly, starts to ask Alex questions. When Alex reveals that MI6 knew nothing about McCain, only Straik, McCain seems quite pleased and I wondered if he might let Alex off. Then Alex tells him that he told MI6 he saw McCain with Straik, and that pretty much does it. He decides he believes Alex, and he had earlier promised to shot at the crocodiles if he though Alex was telling the truth. But no. He's changed his mind. He thinks Alex is a rude little boy, and thanks to him his name is know known to MI6. Also he tried to kill him once: in Scotland. It failed then but this time it won't.




FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWHY?

I HATE YOU DESMOND McCAIN.

McCain leaves Alex there, his muscles screaming, at the mercy of the crocodiles and Myra Bennett who apparently likes to watch this kind of thing.

The only way of escape I can think of is if MI6 come in a helicopter now and save him.

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?????

Saturday 21 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 18: All For Charity

I am actually dying having to wait so long to read the next chapter. Hey, let's hope the world doesn't end before I do! This chapter was more exposition from McCain, explaining exactly what he was going to do. I know loads of people have said this, but is there a kind of 'bad guy syndrome' which makes all the bad guys explain what they're doing to the one person who could likely destroy them? Because seriously, all of them do it. I know it's necessary to move the plot on, but I'm ignoring that because that's boring. I know Alex is going to survive, that McCain won't kill him, because I know there's another book. Obviously it's a mistake telling him all this when there's the slightest chance he might escape and undo all McCain's work. Oh well, it's good for Alex.

McCain says that he decided to set up a charity because it was an easy way for him to make money. I'm not sure how on earth he gets away with it but somehow whenever people give to charity after some natural disaster he takes a huge load of that money for himself. How twisted is that? Using other people's desperate situations for your own advantage. I may have problems with McCain in relation to other 'baddies', but I definitely think he's evil.

But not only is he prepared to scrounge money those who need it, McCain has started creating his own disasters. He mentions the Nuclear Plant from chapter one, and now we know that Ravi was blowing the station up just to make a greedy man more money. And now he's setting up something else: a plague that will sweep over Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda, affecting millions. Now, because he knows that these disasters are going to happen, he can send people from his charity there almost instantaneously without any questions asked, therefore being the first charity to appeal for help and the charity to get the most money. Good grief, he is not a nice guy.

All the things that didn't make sense earlier are now fitting together. The scene that Alex stumbled across earlier in that film studio is for an appeal video which McCain will release way before the other charities have even got to Kenya, and no one will know the difference.

And then, as I worked out last chapter, McCain tells Alex that by pulling the lever in the aeroplane he started of the plague. Remember Leonard Straik from Greenfields? He invented this gene thing which alters a single gene of a plant, making it potentially lethal. What Alex sprayed on the field was some kind of mushroom thing which, once out in the sun for a while, changes one of its genes and becomes lethal. The wind will blow its spores over to the next field, and the next, and the next etc, gradually touching nearly every field in these three countries.

Oh, and by the way, McCain casually drops into the convo that he killed Straik. By shoving a poisonous snail down his throat. Well that's nice.

So McCain is basically evil, and reminds Alex that, rather than ask him nicely what Alex knows and what MI6  know, he's going to torture it out of him. Tomorrow. And I really can't see how Alex is going to get out of this one.

Friday 20 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 17: Wolf Moon

Yeesh this was an intense chapter. This is when Alex is invited to have supper with Desmond McCain and it is revealed that he is definitely not the perfect, charity-giving man he is presented as.

Something I have to say before I get on to that bit though: when Alex is taken out his tent and guided to dinner, the place around him sounds EXACTLY like a place I went to a couple off years ago - and I mean EXACTLY. It was a safari camp in Kenya, and seriously, every description is the same, every building in the same place as described, and the landscape identical. Now that would be so cool if it was based on the same place!

Onward! We are told that Myra Bennett will not be joining them to eat - something she seems very annoyed about, and given the fact revealed later that she and McCain have "planned" to get married later, I'm not surprised. Blimey. What would that marriage be like? Oo-er.

Alex sees a sharp knife on the table and while noone's there takes it, but I didn't expect this to work, and sure enough McCain notices and makes Alex put it back. Thing is though, I don'y know what Alex would use it for - we've seen in Scorpia that he's not prepared to kill anyone, and I don't see what else he'd use it for, unless escaping from something.

McCain starts his stereotypical "I'm a misunderstood evil guy speech", and Alex made me lol when he said, "I suppose you want to take over the world". He's so used to guys wanting to do this that it's just an unoriginal ambition now. Also kind of made me think of The Pinky and the Brain. Now that was annoying. McCain admits that he had his boxing competitor killed - buy a man called The Gentleman:I TOLD YOU SO, I SAID IT WAS THAT GUY! ASTUTE OR WHAT??? He goes on to say how tragic his past was, how he was bullied at school (Herod Sayle much?) blah blah.

Again, I don't want to criticise Horowitz because I think he's a fantastic author, but I mean the fact that this villain has reminded me of two previous villains from this series can't be a good thing. I said a while ago that I thought it must be some kind of trick on Horowitz's part, but now I'm not so sure. McCain's evidently up to something bad, and he's still too similar to bad guys we've seen before. Surely there's not enough time for there to be a huge twist.

McCain wanted to be rich from a young age, because this is one of the only ways you can gain respect, so this has been his life's work since boxing and getting out of prison. Now he reveals that he's planning something. Something that will kill millions. And what happens will be because of Alex.

njfewhkeqPIHQ
UGWKHGKLGDANKGADKJALKJE;HGRhgrjkgdk'graegjkgriragjkgf

What.

Last chapter when Bennett and Alex were in that aeroplane and they flew over the crop field, Bennett got Alex to pull a lever and it would spray the field. That must be it. Without realising he sprayed some kind of deadly poison onto the fields which loads of people will eat, right? McCain and Bennett know how to make Alex suffer: by making him do something awful to other people withou realising.

Seriously unprepared for this.

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 16: A Short Flight to Nowhere

Well hello again lovely people, I am back as I promised with a bit of a smaller workload and therefore more time to read and review! Aren't you pleased... Anyhoo I was just looking back at my last review and remembered how awful that chapter was!! It was seriously horrible! And really in this chapter Alex isn't much better off.

The chapter opens with Alex waking up from the terrible drug he'd been put under and slowly regaining consciousness. He begins to realise that he's in some kind of tent, obviously somewhere in Kenya, but it's like a posh tent rather than an actual tent tent... if you get what I mean. He could hear sounds of the African Bush around him and it's all very strange and isolated. I was remembering what happened to him last chapter, and thinking about what they did to him, and it's making me really worried about what they could potentially do to him now they've got him in this isolated place. See Alex gets up and walks outside to find his tent guarded by a man with a gun, which is never good, and makes it apparent that they don't care about shooting him.

He's told to remain in the tent, and while he's waiting he's thinking about how to get out. MI6 supplied him with an exploding pen when he went to Greenfields and very luckily he still has it, but that's his only weapon. He thinks about MI6 - as soon as they knew he was missing they would have pulled out all the stops to try and get him back, and would hopefully have all the security forces in the world looking out for him. Also, we know that Blunt is eager for Alex to work with them full time when he's older, and so that makes it more likely that he'll search for him.

Myra Bennett enters Alex's tent with another armed guard. She reveals that she invented that drug herself, making me hate her even more. A lot of the 'assisstants' of the evil guys in these books are just as bad, sometimes worse than the main evil person themselves and I'm starting to wonder if Myra might not be one of them too. She threatens Alex with various punishments should he try to escape and then takes hims out to a car (not before ordering a guard to shoot one of the monkeys whose noise was annoying her - pure.evil.). They drive to this aeroplane - like a seriously old one - which will only fit two people, and I assumed she was taking Alex somewhere else, maybe to cover their tracks even more, but actually she just flew the plane over to some huge fields, sprayed some crops with some stuff and returned. It's all very confusing. She wouldn't explain to Alex what she was doing either. Hmmm.

Then, after Alex says that he just wants to go home, Myra reveals that he can't because they're going to kill him, but first they're going to torture him to get information.

Well that's something to look forward to.

WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE TO HURT TEENAGERS SO MUCH???

Friday 13 May 2011

SORRY!

Heeey I'm so sorry I haven't been doing posts so frequently this week. As I said, it's exam period and I have currently got five essays on the go! Because of this I've decided to tak a break until next Wednesday, as after that I'll only have two more to go and I should have more time to do the reading and posts then. I'm sorry if you were waiting!! But I promise that I will return in no time, and you have to agree that this is probably sensible...

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 15: Special Delivery

This chapter was horrible.

I don't even know how to talk about it.

It was so much more cold-blooded, horrific, evil and inescapable than anything else in the entire series, and that's saying something. I mean, seriously, who would do something like that?

Um if you haven't read this book (or any other books in this series for that matter) just go and read them now because you're seriously missing out.

In this chapter Alex gets captured by some people who are working for McCain on his way to school. They get him with a hypodermic syringe to knock him out and then bundle him into the back of a van and take him to a strange place where they are joined by Myra Bennett who makes the situation much worse.

She cuts his hair badly and they've changed him into old baggy clothes by the time he wakes up. Bennett then sticks another needle in him, but this time she doesn't take it out: instead she attached some sort of box to it and hides them under his sleeve. She tells him that it will keep re-injecting him with this liquid at regular intervals so that he has no chance of escaping.

And then she shows him his reflection in the mirror. He's sitting in a wheelchair, and with the haircut and stained outfit and numbing fluids that are being pumped into him, he looks like he's suffering from severe brain damage. Bennett has lodged onto the fact that people don't look closely at people in wheelchairs because they don't want to look like they're staring and has taken advantage of it. Even if people were already looking for Alex, they wouldn't think to look at disabled people, and Alex is almost unrecogniseable anyway. Alex can't move, can't speak, his body has become a prison as his mind continues to work normally - when he's not unconscious, that is.

They wheel him out, and through his various bouts of consciousness he registers that they're taking him to Heathrow Airport, then boarding an aeroplane. The most painful thing about this chapter is how helpless he is. His mind could be screaming at him but he cannot do anything, and these people know exactly what they're putting him through, and they don't even care.

Onboard the aeroplane, Bennett tries to further humiliate him by getting him to eat baby food, but luckily Alex is able to keep his mouth resolutely closed to avoid any more of this torture he's being put under. What kind of person would do this to a fourteen-year-old?

They get off the plane and Alex sees a huge sign saying, "Smile, you're in Kenya" and realises that he has flown so far across the world and no one knows where he is. Jack wouldn't have known, MI6 would have been alerted but there's no way they'd expect this to happen and they can't have been prepared. His only hope is if they manage to track down McCain and therefore, by some miracle, Alex too.

And then it just ends. And we're left feeling completely gutted. How on earth can Alex get out of this? If no one knows where he is, even if he manages to escape, how on earth is he going to get back to England from Kenya??

Uuuurgh this was so horrible to read, I have no idea how he's going to escape this one, I almost don't want to read the next chapter because I can only see it getting worse!!

Tuesday 10 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 14: Q&A

Sorry for the silence yesterday! I'm into exam period now and it's not going too well, let's just put it that way! Anyhoo, back on track today with Chapter 14, which saw some interesting progressions!

It opened with Harry Bulman. Dammit I thought he'd been disposed of =/ yeah he's only gone and told Desmond McCain and Leonard Straik about all Alex's MI6 work and now they know about him and are suspicious of his two meetings with them (the first in Scotland, the second in Greenfields, obvs). Well that's not good. We find out that, of course, he was offered a lot of money for the info and it was by no means surprising that he decided to tell them - even though there's a chance MI6 would find out. Doesn't make much difference anyway, as he asked for more money and so McCain shot him.  Ah well. No great loss.

Shall we talk about McCain for a bit? We were told right at the beginning that he's supposedly a 'reformed boxer/politician/criminal' and that he converted to Christianity whilst in jail. Don't mean to be a traditionalist, but I'm pretty sure Christians aren't supposed to shoot people. Just saying. So what's up with him then? I mean, he's supposed to be this good charity man, but he obvs isn't. I've said before that he seems like Damian Cray from 'Eagle Strike' (the fourth book) but that he must be something different, but Straik himself wonders what's going on in McCain's head at one point, and Cray was definitely unhinged, so maybe they're more similar than I thought.

I would also like to say that I just remembered about that first chapter! I'd completely forgotten about it in the light of all the drama that's happened to Alex, and I'm wondering what's going to happen with that. It's not like Horowitz to have something like that completely unrelated, so I wonder. I vaguely remember him saying at the end that a charity called First Aid got there almost instantaneously. That's McCain's charity, and seeing how dodgy he is, I think that he had something to do with the explosion, so knew it was going to happen and could prepare for it. I have absolutely no idea why but that's my theory. If you've read it don't laugh if I'm waaaay off!

Back to the chapter though, McCain has some sort of plan to lure Alex to them so they can have a Q&A themselves (see what I did there...?) but we don't find out what it is which is very teasing.

Instead, the POV changes to Blunt and Mrs Jones who are discussing the whole business. Can't remember if I mentioned a few chapters ago that Alex nicked this test tube from Straik's table, but he got it tested by MI6 and they found it was kind of like mushroom soup: completely harmless, but at worst you might get indigestion if you ate it... But it must be more than that because they were making 500 gallons of it and OMG I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING AS I'M WRITING THIS!! Remember that charity of McCain's? Ok so maybe this liquid is really for eating, and they're going to hand it out to all the thousands of people who need it after a natural disaster and - I don't know, but it could give them all indigestion?? Why? Well that's my theory then. Woo two theories in one post, this is going well!

So Blunt and Jones don't know the significance of this stuff but they wonder if it's got anything to do with the whole GM crops stuff that Straik's in charge of. But then Blunt says something that makes me hate him forever: "As usual, Alex has done an extremely good job. We really are going to have to make sure we recruit him full-time after he finishes university". OH NO YOU DON'T! DO YOU REALISE HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE TO THIS BOY??? Good grief. Also, he says, "after he finishes university" and that's a bit presumptive don't you think? It's like he's already planned out Alex's life when he's only fourteen! Then he goes and makes it worse by saying, "We've treated him badly in the past, but perhaps we could sent him a a brief thank you. And maybe we should enclose a bag of sweets".

What.


Siriusly?


You absolute asshole.

Wtf is wrong with this man?? He's in my bad books now. I'm sirius.

Sunday 8 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 13: Feeling the Heat

You know, I have to admit I'm glad I'm not Jack. I get so worried for Alex whenever he goes off doing his 'detective' stuff, but she's his guardian - she must be insanely worried. Worried sick. As worried as if she was Lord Voldemort after discovering that Harry Potter had destroyed all his horcruxes. I swear Alex actually goes looking for trouble, it's really not good for the nerves. But I'll get to that bit later, let's just start at the beginning.

Alex has to go to the headmaster's office, as he evidently ran off during the school trip and only joined them on the bus later (although he and Tom put out the story that he'd "fallen out the window"...). I know the Head didn't have much choice in the matter, and he does seem like a genuinely nice, fair person, but given the real circumstances, it was so unfair that he excluded Alex. It was only for a day, but still thinking about all he'd been through it would be nice for Alex to have a break wouldn't it?

Oh, but don't worry, because Alex manages to make the day of some use (well that's one way to call it). He somehow remembers hearing Straik and McCain talking when he was in the office with them, and they mentioned Myra Bennett (the boring Dr who welcomed them to Greenfields) going to somewhere called Elm's Cross. Rather than going back home and doing homework like any normal boy, Alex decides to look this place up, discovers it's in London, and gets a taxi there.

How many of you would ever do this kind of thing? It happens in Harry Potter as well: despite knowing that what they're dealing with is dangerous, despite Alex knowing that he was shot at repeatedly just the day before, he decides to go back and investigate more. Why? He must know from all his experience that it's not a good idea and yet he still does it. He does note this: he realises that instead of being someone who is used by MI6, they have turned him into someone who wants to be used by them. He can no longer help but satisfy his curiosity, and maybe no longer trusts MI6 to get it right.

He arrives at Elm's Cross and it is an old, apparently disused film studio. It doesn't appear to have CCTV of any kind so, being Alex, he saunters right in. After finding nothing other than old props, Alex hears voices: one belonging to Dr Bennett, and two other men. They are all leaving, and what they were saying didn't seem to be significant. Now I've said that it probably will be, but just this once I'm not going to hypothesise. They all leave and Alex wanders around the set. It's of an African village - one with mudhuts and spears that you see in old films - and it's littered with dead bodies. Not real ones: all made by the props department, and mostly animals. Alex finds them repulsive, so they must have been really horrible, but I didn't get much of a sense of it.

The door the people left from has been chained and bolted, and Alex has to find another way out. I was feeling nervous about this because it's not like Horowitz to lock Alex in somewhere and not include another threat. I couldn't imagine Alex escaping in no hurry. Of course, that was when the fire started.

I really, really don't want to criticise these books because I do honestly think they're fantastic, but here I couldn't help but think, "Here we go again". I know these books are about adventure and escaping etc, but I just feel like we've had this scenario one too many times. Not only in this book (although we have had three near-death experiences in 245 pages) but throughout the series. And don't you dare say I'm getting too old, because I refuse to be too old for children's books. It's just maybe Horowitz does it in the same way, making it out that Alex is about to die and then saying, oh no don't worry he manages again, when it's obvious he's not going to die because I'm only half way through the book. I can't quite articulate what feels wrong here, but hopefully I don't feel it again!! I truly love these books!

So anyway, back to the fire! Now Alex is really in need of an escape (he's guessed that the three people deliberately set fire to the place, after recalling something McCain said before). He decides that the ventilation shaft will be big enough for him to crawl through and he climbs up a ladder (too convenient??) and bangs open a panel and climbs in. It's like an oven in there, and he has a long way to go and it's very slow progress, so it was definitely tense: especially when he got to the end and the grill that led outside wouldn't open and he saw a ball of fire travelling along the chite, BUT of course he managed to kick open the grill just in time and landed unhurt on the ground and limped away to safety. I don't want to say obviously there, but I'm so tempted. THAT'S NOT A CRITICISM! Just saying.

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 12: Exit Strategy

Prepare as I delve further into this grand adventure of Alex's and as excitement continues to mount so steadily that I'm practically screaming in mingled anticipation and relief...

I've decided to show you my emotions whilst reading this chapter, as words cannot describe the feelings I felt as Alex just about manages to escape from a life-threatening situation.

(Just so you know if you haven't read it, the first part of this chapter is from Alex's friend Tom's POV)
"I am very sorry boys and girls," she exclaimed. "I am afraid we are going to have to end your visit to Greenfields. An emergency situation has arisen and you must return to your coach at once".
Oh no what about Alex, how will he know to get back to the coach???
Ok back to Alex's POV.

"Ahead of him a wide tarmac driveway ran straight between what looked like two rows of  factories. This was the only way with no guards, and it might lead im back to the block where the school visit had begun. A single white-coated technician stood in his way but he was busy funnelling a steaming liquid from a stell cylinder. Liquid nitrogen." *Alex throws it at the guards pusrsuing him and escapes*
Oh Alex you have the best ideas
"There was a communications system built into the pocket calculator that Smithere had given him. He would use it to call MI6."

WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THIS BEFORE?? But also relief as it seems he may be able to escape now...
Alex runs up onto the roof of a building and sees
"The coach was parked at the far end of the driveway. The school visit must have ended early as it was already loading up. Even as he watched he saw Tom Harris and James Hale climb on board"
AAAAAARGH!
"The chimney was modern and silver; and as far as he could see its outer casting was fairly thin. He didn't have time to work out the measurements but surely if it was horizontal, it might reach acroos to the next rooftop. He could use it as a bridge. And he had the means to bring it down."
Phew! Again, genius.
But, unfortunately the chimney isn't long enough, and the guards are catching up with Alex. This leaves him with only one option left.
"Alex dived headfirst into the opening [of the chimney]. The chimney was just big enough fo him with his backpack still strapped to his shoulders. It was like being inside a chute at the swimming pool. The round shiny surface offered no resistance and Alex shot down." And he lands ON THE ROOF OF THE BUS!!!

The bus speeds out of Greenfields and Alex manages to get Tom's attention, the bus stops and Alex gets back onboard.

Man.

That was soooo intense!

Friday 6 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 11: Hell on Earth

THE SITUATION IS ABSOLUTELY NOT BETTER GUYS. ALEX IS IN MORTAL PERIL THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE CHAPTER AND I DON'T SEE IT GETTING ANY BETTER!!!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START, BUT I THINK CALMING DOWN WOULD BE A VERY GOOD IDEA.

CALMING.

Ok calm. Just about.

Here we go.

So we left Alex at thepoint where Straik and McCain had just entered the room and he had dived into a hiding place which turned out to be in the gap between a large painting which had not been put up yet and the wall behind. Luckily no adult could fit in there so it's very unlikely that the men would think to look in there if they needed to.

The two men are discussing something that's "ready" and will be flown somewhere on aeroplanes and when in use will take effect "immdediately". I have absolutely no idea what this could be, but obviously it's not a good thing. They don't reveal anything about it because all too soon Straik realises that something's wrong: the USB that he'd had in his computer is not there anymore. WHAT DID I TELL YOU?? ALEX RIDER WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME??? They're instantly aware that someone's been into the room and Straik calls a "Double Red Alert". Red alerts are bad enough, but double? Yeeks. And then he makes it ten times worse by telling McCain that a double alert means the guards will KILL ANY UNAUTHORISED PERSON THEY FIND WITHOUT ASKING QUESTIONS.

BNF;OWHGREOTBEBMGKIOUVGKJTIYORVGIKYIU5TRNBRTEYUREJHUY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY???

Oh don't worry, it gets worse.

The two men fortunately leave the room and Alex is free to escape - but to where? He needs to find his school party but there's know way of knowing where they are. Dr Bennett said that they'd go to the labs, then greenhouses, then lecture theater, so one of those places, but not only does Alex not know which one it'll be, he doesn't know how to get to these places.

He goes into the corridor and comes across a guard who, as Alex is running away, is shooting at him. A lot of the time in these books, guards hesitate before doing anything about Alex because he's a child and they don't expect him to be "dangerous", but here he didn't even stop to think, which makes me wonder what they could possibly be hiding there.

Another thing I'd like to mention is how in books like these, and also ones like Harry Potter, the His Dark Materials books by Phillip Pullman, and various others, children are so regularly targeted by adults. They come close to death, beaten, shot at, tortured and sometimes actually killed by these people, and yet they're considered 'children's literature'. I'm not saying children shouldn't read them: on the contrary, I think the more who read the better, spread the love and all that, it's just don't you think it's strange that things like this happen and are just accepted. I read Goblet of Fire for the first time when I was 8 and thought nothing about the scene in which Voldemort tortures Harry and tries to kill him, but I read it again a couple of months ago and realised how truly horrible it was. Harry was left, distraught over the death of Cedric, blaming himself and dealing with the wounds Voldemort left him and the worry that he'd returned to full power again - at the age of fourteen. You kind of take this for granted and don't realise how awful it is what's happening to these characters - if this happened in the real world there'd be outrage. That's the great thing about books, they allow for escape, you can read as deep into things as you want, or just brush the surface and the experience is always great (if the story's good of course), so you can read these as exciting adventure novels, or use them to look at the genre of children's literature and to help tell why, in children's books, this persecution is acceptable. Man, you can tell I'm an English student!

ANYWAY back to the chapter! Alex somehow outruns the guard and crosses over to the greenhouse, hopin his classmates are there. They're not, but other guards seem to have spotted him, because they start firing fom outside. Trying to escape the bullets, Alex runs further on and unwittingly runs into....

Oh, only the POISON DOME THAT DR BENNETT MENTIONED LAST CHAPTER. WHAT DID I SAY?? OH YEAH, THAT I HAD A BAD FEELING THAT ALEX WOULD GET CAUGHT UP IN HERE.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

This room is pretty much a living nightmare for me. I really hate insects and anything that slithers or crawls, and this place is a hotbed of poisonous plants, snakes, spiders (worst thing EVER), bees, centipedes, snails, wasps and pretty much everything else. One touch and you're probably dead. Oh Anthony Horowitz, you evil genius. Alex takes a few, painstakingly slow steps (and can I add that I was practically screaming with horror through this whole section) and almost instantly feels something on his shoe. He looks down and there is a giant centipede, just inches away from his skin. I'd be surprised if you hadn't heard me screaming from wherever you are right now. Luckily he manages to kick really hard and send it flying, but now my fear was doubled and he still had to find the way out (he couldn't go back the way he came because it was an in-only door).

He carries on and is uninhibted by any other insects, but soon comes across a man, in protective clothing, holding a machete. That's right, a machete. The man attacks, of course, and Alex manages to duck, they struggle for a few tense minutes, until Alex sneakily cuts down the back of the man's protective suit with his concealed knife that Smithers gave him, and pushes him backwards onto a partcularly prickly plant thing, which spikes the man, killing him horrifically. Ouch.

Alex soon finds the door outside and luckily it's close to the lecture theater so he decides to head there, BUT as he does so two guards spot him.

With nowhere to hide and in plain site of them, the chapter ends, and I am left to wait another day to find out how on earth he is going to get out of this one.

Thursday 5 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 10: Greenfields

WOOAAAH THINGS JUST GOT REAL.

THINGS ARE GOING TOO WRONG TOO QUICKLY. WHY DID I WILLINGLY DECIDE TO READ THIS ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME???

Again I didn't expect the story to prgress quite so quickly: this chapter we see Alex go to Greenfields, the GM crops place, already on his 'mission'. It was very different to the last chapter - I suppose that one was a sort of light relief before we came to this one which is very important and pretty serious. Alex goes on this school trip with his BFFs Tom and Jack (this book's the first time we've met Jack, making me wonder if he'll come into play later). Tom's the only one who knows about his MI6 background, so Alex warns him that he's up to something and is going to need Tom to cover for him.

They arrive and things are very dodgy. There are loads of guards, high security and a strange woman waiting to greet them. The way she's described makes her sound kind of machine-like: she's got a kind of computerised, emotionless voice - you know the kind that Sat Navs have - and it's very difficult to tell her age, she has plain blonde hair and apparently a plain, non-descript face. The great thing about Horowitz is how even when he's describing someone really boring and plain like this lady (Dr Myra Bennett) he doesn't describe them in a dull way. His humourous style of writing is very appealing to me, especially because I spend a lot of time reading 'proper books' which are wonderfully written but often lacking in humour, and he paints vivid pictures with words which many authors seem to stuggle to do.

Dr Bennett tells them about the poisonous plants that they're growing in the centre. Why do I have such a bad feeling about those? I can really see them coming up later in a very bad way for Alex... they're pretty deadly and she describes vividly the various ways in which one could die in there. Pleasant.

The school party are told that registers will be taken  at the beginning and end, so Alex has limited time to find his way to the boss's office and download the data and make his way back. Gah I hate timed things. He goes off really quickly, using a hidden map that Smithers supplied for him, and the camera-deactivating calculater to help him. Whilst on the way he sees armed guards, which makes me wonder what else this place is hiding. You don't have guns just to protect sciency stuff.

Alex makes it to the office and luckily there's no one there, so he goes in and sticks the USB into the computer. Actually before, he had to take one out, and owing to reasons I'll come to he never put it back in which made me worry that perhaps Straik (that's the boss man) will notice something's up =S The USB does its thing, but then DISASTER STRIKES!!!

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH THE DOOR.

THE USB HASN'T FINISHED DOWNLOADING.

THE FOOTSTEPS STOP OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

THE USB FINISHES.

ALEX HEARS SOMEONE ABOUT TO OPEN THE DOOR.

HE DIVES INTO THE ONLY HIDING PLACE IN THE ROOM.

WE DON'T GET TOLD WHERE THIS IS, SO HAVE NO IDEA IF IT'S WELL HIDDEN OR NOT.

TWO MEN ENTER THE ROOM.

ONE IS DESMOND McCAIN.


Now do you see why I can't stand to wait another day??

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapter 9: Invisible Man

THIS CHAPTER WAS SO FUNNY. Epic lolz.

It was the first one written from a different perspective since Chapter 1 and for the most part I found it really funny. In the previous Chapter, Blunt and Mrs Jones were deciding what to do about Harry Bulman, and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly we found out.

We followed Bulman and got to know more about him, and I can safely say - as I'm sure anyone else who's read this too can - that he was a genuinely nasty piece of work. He's arrogant, selfish, greedy (he was thinking about not giving Alex any of the money from the potential booksales) and lazy. The opening paragraph is him dreaming about winning 'Journalist of the Year'. Don't get me wrong, I've fantasized about winning various books awards, only I never plan to blackmail and exploit children.

Anyhoooo, he gets up and goes out to buy breakfast, and he passes a Newstand with a headline 'Journalist Killed'. He doesn't register it but I TOTES GOT WHAT WAS GOING DOWN and immediately wondered what MI6 were up to: were they planning to kill him later and just use this toalert him to the fact? All would soon become clear.

Things got MUCH weirder VERY quickly. He tried to get on the bus with his Oyster Card (that's a sort of Travel card that you can top up with money so you don't have to buy tickets all the time, if you didn't know) but even though he'd just topped it up it said he had no credit on it. He tried to get money out but the cashpoint rejected his card and swallowed it. He treid another and the same thing happened. All this time I was sure it was MI6, but I've no idea how they did it. He got more and more wound up which was very amusing: he certainly deserved it!

He headed to where his car was parked because he knew he still had money in there, but the car was gone. He treid to phone 999 to report a theft but his phone had no signal. Using a phone box, he contacted the police, gave his registration number, only to be told that the number was registered to a different car and owner.

Seriously p'd off by now he stormed into a bank to complain about the cards. I felt sorry for the man at the desk: I worked part-time at a library, and when you got impossible customers like that you started to hate humanity... well maybe not quite that much but you get my point. The man tells Bulman that the account was closed a year ago and there's no money in it. He storms out and someone (MI6?) just happens to drop a newspaper open on the page about the dead journalist. It's him. Ok now he starts to panic. He runs home to find the locks have been changed and he can't get in. Oops.

A policeman walks past and tries to help, but when Bulman says his name they recognise it as the 'dead journalist' and get suspicious, ask to see ID - he has none - then ask to see in his briefcase only to find a knife covered in blood. LOLZ. He's arrested and they later tell him he's escaped from a mental hospital, his real name is Jeremy Harwood and not to worry, he'll soon be back and can't hurt anyone. Remind you of Shutter Island? Here I did get a bit worried, because even though I don't like him I didn't want that to happen to him - it was a bit excessive. Anyway, MI6 agent Crawley comes in and tells him that they orchestrated it all and won't be so lenient if he goes anywhere near Alex or tries to publish the article. Ouch. So he's crying and not happy but has no other option, so that's the end of him.

I hope.

Monday 2 May 2011

Crocodile Tears - Chapters 6-8

Hey hey! Wow I knew I'd be busy on Friday, but sorry I've taken so long to do another post! Royal Wedding celebrations carried on late into the night and I've been moving back to Uni after the holidays so it's been epically busy at the moment. Anyway today I'm going to do all three chapters I missed in one go, so prepare for a long one.

Chapter 6: Nine Frames Per Second

In this chapter, we see Alex returning to school: something we don't often see as he's usually on some kind of mission. It doesn't seem all that important, maybe it's just to show him in a different environment, but he gets caught not listening (which happened to me once - I had completely tuned out in a Music lesson and the teacher said my name about three or four times, my friend kept nudging me and I didn't respond... epic cringe =S), he gets told they're going on a trip to some GM place. That's the second time we've heard mention of GM crops so I'm guessing that'll come into play significantly later.

It gets really interesting later, when Alex is walking home from school and goes through the cemetry where his Uncle is buried. He is confronted by these three dodgy-looking Chinese men who say that Major Yu (the bad guy from his last mission) sent them (even though he's dead). They seem a bit strange because they obviously want to kill him and, as Alex points out, the could have sneaked up behind him and done it. In retaliation Alex does his Kung Fu moves on them, knocking them out and being generally awesome. However as he walks away, Horowitz changes stance and reveals to us that there is someone else in that graveyard. Someone taking photographs of the entire encounter. Hmmm. Dodgy. That's pretty much all for that chapter - it's not long and except for the end there doesn't seem to be much significant stuff in it, but maybe I'll be proved wrong...

Chapter 7: Bad News

We find out soon enough who this person taking photos was. Alex is back at home with Jack and there's a knock at the door. It's the man who took photos and I took an instant dislike to him. He was very arrogant and just sauntered in without being asked. It turns out that he's a freelance journalist and heard rumours about MI6 using a boy to do their dirty work, did some investigating and found out about the missions Alex has been sent on. He wants to write a book about it, guaranteeing that it will sell millions, make Alex famous and make them both rich. He offered to be his manager, to take 50% of his earnings and to help him make the most out of the awful trials he's been through.

It was strange for both us, the audience, and for Alex: to be almost on the brink of international fame, to be one word away from it after all he'd done. There were lots of times previously when the Prime Minister had asked to meet him, when he'd been offered a medal, but Alex just refused. It seems he wants to forget what has happened to him: he doesn't want it to be part of his life, doesn't want to be reminded of it constantly. It made me wonder how this will affect him in the long term. What job would he get when he knowswhat happens out there, when he knows how 'good' he is at saving the world? How can he ever settle back to a normal life? (Actually this reminds me of the companions in Doctor Who who get left behind).

Alex is not sure about Harry Bulman's (that's his name) offer - MI6 made him sign the Official Secrets Act so they wouldn't be happy about it - he doesn't want to be famous, and I was worried that surely it would just be advertising himself to his old enemies. It could potentially be very dangerous for him. He tells Bulman that he'll think about it, but then after he leaves, Alex and Jack agree that the only thing yhey can really do it go to MI6 and ask them about it: not their advice, but ask them to stop Bulman from publishing anything without Alex's permission.

Chapter 8: The Lion's Den

It was in a way quite emotional reading Alex return to MI6. He hadn't actually been to their headquarters in a while: last time he'd been there he got shot, and there were a lot of unpleasant memories. We've been seeing it throughout the book so far, but here especially we really see how much MI6's manipualtion of him has damaged him. The nerves it took for him to go back there when he knows that his presence will merely remind them that he's still available - or at least alive - and they can use him again were strongly felt.

He goes up to talk to Mrs Jones and Alan Blunt, Jack isn't allowed to come which was suspicious, and I was shocked at how unconcerned they were about the reporter. I knew they don't have much interest in Alex's life outside MI6, but this would affect them too. I thought they'd be worried about the exposure, worried that other organisations might copy their idea or that there'd be such an outcry that Blunt and Jones would be forced to leave or something, but they weren't bothered: they simply said that they'd deny it. That was the worst thing, because the repercussions on Alex would be awful: if MI6 denied using him, people would see him as an attention-seeking child who wanted to be James Bond or something, and he would become a laughing stock... maybe a little like a certain Rebecca Black who's recieved so much - criticism, shall we say - recently. It just shows how disposable he is to them.

However, of course Blunt is prepared to negotiate. He has come up with something that he needs Alex to help with. Again. It's a place called Greenfields - an GM crop company. HA! I knew it would come up! And, oh, so convenient that Alex has just found out that he's going there on a school trip. Coincidence? I think not. Blunt must have somehow arranged it so that Alex could go there. Know what, knowing him, he probably changed the entire curriculum to include studying GM crops. That sounds like something he'd do. All Alex has to do is get in there, find the man in charge's office, stick a USB in the computer and download all the files. Simples. But of course we all know it's going to go horribly wrong. Alex has no choice but to accept, as he needs theor protection.

He gets sent to see Smithers who is possibly my all-time favourite character in these books. He's the gadget man and gives Alex some awesome ones: everything's hidden in a lead-lined pencil case because security is tight around there and he may well get searched. He has explosive pens, a USB concealed in a rubber - that's an eraser if you're American ;) - and it can work through the password and everything so Alex needn't worry, a pencil sharpener that's also a diamond edged knife that will cut through anything, and a calculator that will jam any security cameras around him.

I really love all the creations of Smithers, and I love Horowitz's imagination: he makes sure that all are plausible which serves to make the story more realistic and I enjoy that very much!

So Alex is all set to go on his next mission, and I can't help but feel that what is apparently simple will turn out deadly.